I had my first teacher dream about my new school. I am currently ending a 6 year career at Serrano Middle School, a semi-impoverished school in San Bernardino CA, and I will be beginning a new teaching career at Grove High School, a Montessori High School in my home town of Redlands CA.
When I first began at Serrano I remember having all kinds of dreams. They were often very violent and I remember waking up in a state of fear. Over the last six years the violence was replaced by increasingly stressful situations. Last night I had my first dream about my new school. The highlights included my first lesson going extremely well, but when I bragged to a coworker about how my day was going like a dream, she responded by saying, “that’s because it is a dream.” Then I went to an orientation assembly led by the ASB director at my middle school. As a looked out at the crowded I noticed that all the students at my school were in fact a collection of students from my middle school years and the staff was nothing but staff from my middle school.
I am sad to leave Serrano. I have a number of good friends and have grown a lot while working there. It has become part of me.
“What do you do?”
“I teach middle school in San Bernardino.”
“That must be tough.”
This was a common conversation. It was a common description of myself and my life and values. Now:
“I teach middle school in San Bernardino, but this is my last year there.”
“What are you doing next year?”
“I’m going to be teaching at a Montessori High School.”
“Why are you leaving?”
“I am looking for something different.”
I think that is why all the students in the dream are former students and all the staff are friends, because I am afraid Grove won’t be that different. I think it will, but I don’t know. I have a job at Serrano that I enjoy, and am challenged by. I work in an environment where I am respected and considered a leader. And what do I do, I leave. I leave for a job I cannot describe at a school I am not sure I believe is effective at teaching students, in an environment I have pooh-poohed my whole professional career.
Saying, “I teach middle school in San Bernardino”, is like saying I get shit on all day and go back for more. The reality is it isn’t that bad if you have the right attitude and work ethic, but it people understand it to be equivalent to wrestling snakes. Now I will be teaching kids with over involved parents who most likely have never read below grade level and say thing like, “Why should I pick that up, people get paid to pick up my trash.”
Back to the dream. I think the lesson going so well represents my confidence or over confidence in my teaching ability. I feel strong, confident when I am in front of a class. Some days it is so overwhelming I forget I am mortal. Yes I said mortal. Before you call it a power trip I should explain. At no point do I feel superior to my students. At no point do I say I am better then all of you. It is in fact the opposite. I feel as if I am making those around me better then myself. I have raised the sate of being of my students beyond that what they thought was capable. I can give you a demonstration from the student’s perspective- in sports metaphor of course.
A freshmen watching the Olympics and sees someone pole vault 20ft. At that moment they will think one of two thing: A) Wow that’s really high. Or B) I wonder how high I could vault?
The process of me forgetting I am mortal begins when I get students not only to ask themselves what they are capable of, but I get them to believe they can improve what ever it is they are questioning.
So in other words they not only ask, “I wonder how I could vault?” But they also believe, “I could go 22ft.”
The feeling of immortality comes when I work with the student and they go 22ft. I must admit it has been a rare occurrence in my middle school experience. I could count the times on 1 hand and they seemed to come so suddenly am I not sure what I did to make it happen.
It happened once when I was coaching cross-country. I could detail that, but I was still shocked when it happened. A below average runner as a sophomore, an alternate varsity runner as a junior, and one of seven runners as a senior won a tough league race. Even after all the work, specific instructions and seeing the perfect conditions, I still did not expect it. Yet it happened and 1 1/2 years later I still get goose bumps just thinking about it. I could spend a page just describing the race. And perhaps I will in another story.
Well that’s my dream and my perspective.
When I first began at Serrano I remember having all kinds of dreams. They were often very violent and I remember waking up in a state of fear. Over the last six years the violence was replaced by increasingly stressful situations. Last night I had my first dream about my new school. The highlights included my first lesson going extremely well, but when I bragged to a coworker about how my day was going like a dream, she responded by saying, “that’s because it is a dream.” Then I went to an orientation assembly led by the ASB director at my middle school. As a looked out at the crowded I noticed that all the students at my school were in fact a collection of students from my middle school years and the staff was nothing but staff from my middle school.
I am sad to leave Serrano. I have a number of good friends and have grown a lot while working there. It has become part of me.
“What do you do?”
“I teach middle school in San Bernardino.”
“That must be tough.”
This was a common conversation. It was a common description of myself and my life and values. Now:
“I teach middle school in San Bernardino, but this is my last year there.”
“What are you doing next year?”
“I’m going to be teaching at a Montessori High School.”
“Why are you leaving?”
“I am looking for something different.”
I think that is why all the students in the dream are former students and all the staff are friends, because I am afraid Grove won’t be that different. I think it will, but I don’t know. I have a job at Serrano that I enjoy, and am challenged by. I work in an environment where I am respected and considered a leader. And what do I do, I leave. I leave for a job I cannot describe at a school I am not sure I believe is effective at teaching students, in an environment I have pooh-poohed my whole professional career.
Saying, “I teach middle school in San Bernardino”, is like saying I get shit on all day and go back for more. The reality is it isn’t that bad if you have the right attitude and work ethic, but it people understand it to be equivalent to wrestling snakes. Now I will be teaching kids with over involved parents who most likely have never read below grade level and say thing like, “Why should I pick that up, people get paid to pick up my trash.”
Back to the dream. I think the lesson going so well represents my confidence or over confidence in my teaching ability. I feel strong, confident when I am in front of a class. Some days it is so overwhelming I forget I am mortal. Yes I said mortal. Before you call it a power trip I should explain. At no point do I feel superior to my students. At no point do I say I am better then all of you. It is in fact the opposite. I feel as if I am making those around me better then myself. I have raised the sate of being of my students beyond that what they thought was capable. I can give you a demonstration from the student’s perspective- in sports metaphor of course.
A freshmen watching the Olympics and sees someone pole vault 20ft. At that moment they will think one of two thing: A) Wow that’s really high. Or B) I wonder how high I could vault?
The process of me forgetting I am mortal begins when I get students not only to ask themselves what they are capable of, but I get them to believe they can improve what ever it is they are questioning.
So in other words they not only ask, “I wonder how I could vault?” But they also believe, “I could go 22ft.”
The feeling of immortality comes when I work with the student and they go 22ft. I must admit it has been a rare occurrence in my middle school experience. I could count the times on 1 hand and they seemed to come so suddenly am I not sure what I did to make it happen.
It happened once when I was coaching cross-country. I could detail that, but I was still shocked when it happened. A below average runner as a sophomore, an alternate varsity runner as a junior, and one of seven runners as a senior won a tough league race. Even after all the work, specific instructions and seeing the perfect conditions, I still did not expect it. Yet it happened and 1 1/2 years later I still get goose bumps just thinking about it. I could spend a page just describing the race. And perhaps I will in another story.
Well that’s my dream and my perspective.
posted by Charles Sumner at 10:26 PM
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